Diatribe on my pathetic-ness

Hey there world. Wanted to tell you of a not real pleasant set of realizations. I have long wanted to be rich and/or famous. I really only wanted this for one reason - I want to have sex with beautiful women. That's it, and maybe go to some nice places, mainly to have sex with beautiful women, buy a few nice things, to get beautiful women. Maybe I want to buy some nice toys, electronics and such, and watch some great sporting events and play golf in great places to, which would likely not lead to sex with beautiful women. Those would be mainly to pass the time between episodes of sex with beautiful women. Sense a pattern yet.
I have been lonely for most of my life, and I have loved the female form for all my life. I have, and I said this long before 40 year old virgin, put women on a pedestal and never thought I deserved a beautiful woman, a woman, love, companionship, anything that others find makes life worth living.
I feel like the only way I can attract a woman is being rich or famous.
People try to tell me good things about me to cheer me up, but I can only think of the shortcomings that I know exist and the failings that have made up my life.
I have thought recently that the attractiveness formula is something like - beauty + confidence + money/fame. Since I am low on the first two, I would need excessive amounts of the third.
I did once have dreams of being a great writer, since that is the only thing where I have any skills, the amount can be said to be minimal, but I used to think I had just gobs of it. But to be a writer you need both talent, which I have minimal, and ambition. I have no ambition to change. I used to wait until I was inspired to write before I would. (This led to a lot of mediocre poems to waitresses and exotic dancers. I thought of publishing a book of these, and I actually had a good title that I can't remember anymore - something like Songs of Longing or something similarly pretentious.) But I rarely sat down to develop ideas for short stories or movies. Now I just don't get inspired anymore. I don't think it is a step forward.
If I could give up my want of beautiful women, and the amount of time I spend fantasizing and watching them, I think my life would be alot less depressing and I would get a lot more done. This week alone, I have been enraptured with Carrie Keagan, Salma Hayek, my best friend and Rosario Dawson. Each of them have taken up significant amounts of my time in my thoughts in appreciation of their beauty and my dreams of being with them. Mostly pathetic. A certain amount of desire is probably allowed, much of the entertainment industry is based on this, this much though is pathetic.
So my life is an unhappy one, and the problem is that is it my fault. i got myself into financial trouble (sure, which is close to being rectified, but still important), i am the one that has trouble getting to work on time, and i am the one that has never done anything to follow or force my way to my dreams. That seems like a good point. you don't follow your dreams, you force your way into them. i think this is why i am fascinated by the creative process, and enjoy learning about it, why i watch dvd commentaries, comedy documentaries, read books like Born Standing up by Steve martin (excellent by the way).
I think I keep waiting for a massive inspiration or the perfect girl to fall into my lap. or at least my line of sight. everybody does try to tell me this won't happen, which means i have to do something, but doing something is hard, and usually doesn't pay off. Right now (as of this writing) I am watching Otis Redding perform Satisfaction - i can't get no satisfaction - no matter how i try (C Jagger/Richards) - i am not trying. i think there are to many things i have to make an effort towards, so i want to do none of them. That has got to be wrong, as it hasn't really worked yet. i wish i could accept that i am not going to be great, or rich, or in love.