A new me

I have made many bad decisions ins my life, mainly indulging myself instead of doing what I should do, whether it is gambling, watching tv, playing video games, going to strip clubs, oversleeping, goofing off instead of working, I have done to much of that, and the situation has affected my job, my relationships with friends, potential mates, myself, coworkers, it has affected my finances. By indulging every little whim, I have made it impossible to enjoy larger things in life, I have bound myself into patterns that cannot generate a positive outcome.

I have spent much time in whining "Why can't I make the right decisions?" After going to the casino on Monday and losing $350 (when I planned on only playing $200), I started a blog post that stated how I have proven incapable of caring for myself as a decent human being. After discussions with my therapist, I have decided to amend that to "Why have I not made the effort to make the right decisions and made the desicsion to be a happier person who does more what I need to do." I know that is a little bit long, so here is what I am going to live by, "I am going to make the right decisions. I am going to be happy." Making this change in my attitude will make positive changes in my life.

Other changes - I will not go do the bad things by myself. I will not go the casino by myself, I will not go the strip clubs by myself, I will not go the bar by myself, I will not eat out by myself.
Also, I will not buy fast food to eat by myself. I will only eat out with friends or family. When I am by myself, I will do more things right, eat better and prepare my own meals, will accomplish more things.

Today is an example of what I am going to do. I woke up later than I wanted, but once I got up, I ate some food from yesterday, then wrote a shopping list and task list, and have been doing all the things on that list - and only the things on that list. Writing this blog post was on the list.

For some reason, I have thought I could live the life of a millionaire (quote from Nobody knows you when you are down and out) or a life of leisure without having done anything to support it. That has got to stop. If I want to live a high life, I am going to have to work at it. I want to live that life, so I am going to work for it. I am going to live the life I want, make the mark I want and be the person I want. That will get me the person I want (as soon as I find them). All of this is what is going to happen.

Have a good one.